Monday, December 24, 2007

In the middle of the street

All the same people that I hung out with in high school still hang out together. I know this because Facebook told me so. I don't know why this surprises me so much, or why it leaves me with such a weird sense of melancholy, but the idea of going "home" for the holidays to a place where the people you grew up with are waiting to see how you've been is a weird, foreign idea that I don't know if I've ever experienced. I guess I never really felt like I was a part of anywhere until I moved back up to Minnesota after high school. Then, all of a sudden, there was community pouring from every bar and coffee shop I walked into. And, of course, St. Kate's. Seriously, that college...

Of course, this will all come across as ungrateful for the people I have in my life now, for the people that mean so much, for the people that I've known in the past that I just seem to have lost track of. Its not as though growing up was a waste (holy shit would that be hard to stomach), or that I don't think about how weird and cool it would be to go back someday. But honestly, I don't know what I'd do once I got there.

Its just pretty weird to turn around one day and be 25 years old and in law school and have more or less everything figured out and placed into a poorly wrapped box. I guess I just thought it would be a lot easier by the time I got here. Or at least easier to figure out.

I fucking hate holidays.

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