Today is one of those days where I completely doubt myself.
My chosen career, namely how much it has and will continue to cost me to obtainin that career, is drowning me today, and I can't quite shake the thought that I would be happier playing guitars with Heidi the rest of my life. I don't even know if I actually know how to play the guitar anymore, and that's a weird weird WEIRD phenomenon.
I also can't figure out why it is apparently impossible for me to keep my house clean, regardless of how many resolutions I make. Merely saying "I'm just a messy person" doesn't really work when you're 25 yet I am at a loss with how to actually change my behavoir. I keep telling myself that I can just get a cleaning service when I'm older but that is
a. a cop out and
2. not going to help me today.
I wish I was good enough to play poker professionally. There's something that I love doing. Think how awesome I would look in aviators, scotch on the rocks and pocket aces. Seriously.
I desperately trying to remember what I used to do, what used to make me happy and how to get that back.
I don't know that I've ever felt this restless.